I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize