Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
