I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize