I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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