yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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