hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
