In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
