Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize