I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
