Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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