Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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