So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
