Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
