I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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