So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let's paint friendship bongs
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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