hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
