just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
