how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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