There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize