Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You're like the curious george of whores
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
