I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
