A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
