His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
