when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize