i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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