I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
