okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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