Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
