Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
