He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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