Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
