I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
