If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
