You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
