The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
