She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
