Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
