dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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