I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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