until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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