don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
