So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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