The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
