no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
