I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize