He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
