i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think your dad took our porno
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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