I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
