you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
