it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
