wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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