Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
