I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's great music for shaving your balls
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
