He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
