Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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