No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Randomize