3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
