Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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