I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize