Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
