I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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