Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
