Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
