so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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