My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
