Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
