What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
