Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
