You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
