u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
