Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
