I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
