We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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