New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
