So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
