Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
