Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
