happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
