Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
