omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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