i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
we're so committed to being not committed
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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