i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
